At a complete loss to understand this. 

Going to the little girls room when out an about. Just inspecting the walls to see an A4 advert right in front of me for food and eateries.

I understand it is a great place to have the full attention of the customer however I find the reason for being indisposed to be sufficient for not going to said  food outlet / restaurant.

Oh the joys of travelling for work: 
Too many electronic items, too few power points. 

I wonder if modern science may eventually develop a point point we could have surgically implanted which use the bodys' electrical systems so we could use own own internal electricity to charge these computers and gadets. 

Ah but the cost to the company? 

I hear it now... as long as you can charge it back to the client!

Staying in a hotel in a foreign country away from family. I think it best not to watch even a B-grade horror  film like "The Slime" regardless of whether it is Halloween or not.
Not that I watch horror films at all, but how can you pass up a classic like "The Slime?

My plane is delayed due to congestion. I am surprised that there is no medication for this. Also glad it is not described as constipation. 
Wonder what you would use to clear it? Portalflush? Plane-o-clear? Flight-away?

I turn my computer on. 

I never knew I had such an effect on technology!

So many beautiful cathedrals. How does anyone enter a cathedral? Too beautiful, too overawing, too overpowering, far superior, far above the simple sinner such as I.
How does anyone enter these buildings?

Attending an information session on depression.
Someone has a sense of humour because the background music being played prior to the commencement of one session was Crazy - Patsy Cline.

The rain is coming down in buckets. I'm not going outside.

Getting hit by a bucket hurts - rain or no rain.

Is it cheaper to buy mineral water in it's dehydrated form?

With my poor dyslexic fingers, I have now created another disease:

Melano Miasma.

I think its the mental fog created by too much tropical fruit.

Subtlety

The point of action still needs to be indicated in speech or deed for the subtlety to exist. 

Anything less is actually telepathy.

I have found this to be a difficult concept for most in my household to grasp. I an not an alien. Mind reading is not my speciality.

I like honest food.
Dishonest food repeats, deserts the system rapidly, costs far more than its worth and lacks the dining experience that is anticipated.  

u-sphuck

The realisation that the great price of an item is negated by the cost of postage and the small writing in the purchase agreement. 

After extremely brief consideration, it is my opinion that technical engineering requiring thought of any kind, cannot be accomplished without the assistance of a hot steaming brew!

Technicians Curse 

Having to speak with the purchaser of a service for the household rather than the most technically competent person in the household to resolve the problem of the service purchased. 

Meteorologists write the best fantasy fiction I have ever read. 

Why is it that in trying to undo a package these days, I seem to be beaten by the plastic. 

1 refuse to believe that plastic has a higher IQ than me!

It's a very worrying thing to realise that you are being mentally affected by the nutter you are married to. 

It really is catching!

I asked my husband if he expected me to drive for 6 hours on 2 cups of coffee.
His response: "I'll fill the bucket"

There is nothing better in this world than a dog who loves to hear you sing!

The problem with politicians in power is that they are actually drunk with power.

There is nothing more dangerous that an power-drunk politician who is not aware of their own limitations!

Lunatic: Thy name is politician.

This of course is superseded only by bureaucrats!

Chihuahua battery recharge time: 5 mins.
Superior to all electronic devices.

Currently on holidays. There is the option to canoe the river. Much talking, splashing and orders can be heard from those canoing. It actually sounds like a canoe race but all from within the one canoe.

If I weren't such a polite person, then I would take great pleasure in telling those who decide to have a go at me for no particular reason to GO SOAK YOUR HEAD. 

I should also like to make replies to their lack of upbringing they experienced from their parents. 
As my mother would say - it all comes down to poor potty training

Instead, I shall nod, say nothing, and walk away from the silly geese.