It is one thing when  your dog loves you. It is quite another when a stranger's dog wanders up to you, sits on your foot, leans up against you and stares you happily in the face!

Technical language is a wonderful thing. 

I was really angry about the use of nail hardener to keep screws and slugs in place. I mean who would put nail hardener on a poor defenceless slug! Until that is, I was advised that a slug is a metal coil on a circuit board. Whew!

Trying to work with a terrified dog on my lap in a thunderstorm!  

All I can say is thank goodness it's a Chihuahua and not an Irish Wolf Hound!

Anticipated efficiency - a hopeful 3%.

It's not so much the dog, but the shaking of the poor little thing. 

I wonder if there is a dog richter scale. 

Listening to a radio programme and my husband made the comment: 

"The programme was quite good apart from the voices coming out of the radio". 

Why does it seem that 140 years is so close to 70, than 70 years is 0. 

I mean, once you hit 70 years of age, surely it is a blink of an eye to hang on to get to 140 years!

Somehow, the more senior members of my family do not appreciate it when I ask if they can't hold on to get to 140 years of age!

I asked my sweetie how the whispering as an experienced amateur radio operator was hearing the world. I have been advised that Japan is flooding with responses, Africa is on hold for the day and Europe is going mad!

Situation normal really! 

My husband is truly a master master magician. With an all mighty bang, flash of flame and smoke billowing forth from the kitchen, he successfully blew up the stove! 

I was surprised to see the cats standing still looking at his handiwork in amazement. I think they like to watch this sort of destruction.

What I did find out however was how high chihuahuas can jump. Now all I need is an expert to tell me how to prize them down from the ceiling. 

I just called my mother... I don't think she can hear me from 120km away!

We always seem to receive the cost to buy schooled prawns. 

What I want to know is how this compares to unschooled prawns.

Beware disruptive unschooled prawns, first they stink your house out, then they repeat on you something fierce!

The only problem with having an ear infection leaving you partially deaf in one ear is that I want to keep walking in left turning circles all the time!

I can do anything as long as I don't have to think...or turn right!

My cup is always full. It is just normally full of the wrong component, namely air. It is transition to the state of being filled with liquid that I prefer.

My dog Cody's motto is:

"Never let the opportunity for a belly rub go to waste". 

I must say, that's a pretty good motto, just not always appropriate for people.

I would like a refund on last night. 

Earache and the feeling of knitting needles through the ear were not what I envisaged for a good night's sleep. 

Now I can attest to that for certain. 

I do hope not to have a repeat of this again as double checking would really be a waste of time.

The biggest frustration about being sick, is the amount of extra work this creates when you don't have the energy to deal with it.

As part of the Royal Tour attended by Prince Charles and Duchess Camilla Parker-Bowles, my husband was invited to meet with them along with a number of representatives from his work. Families were asked to attend. My lovely husband declined as his was too busy and refuses to wear a tie for anyone. I have nothing suitable to wear and would have preferred three weeks to panic about what to wear.

Just as well we did not attend. My hayfever scrambled out of control and I would have been sneezing and blowing my nose at the Royal couple. I have no desire to repeat a Monty Python sketch. 

Better to leave such events to the non-seasonal allergy sufferers. 

Why do people bother to phone a radio station when the first thing they say is "I'm speechless" or " I don't know what to say."

Local vocal group "Chappie and the Meowlers" with their one hit wonder "Feed Me Now!"

 I have given my darling husband 6 months to give me a wedding ring so he went out and purchased a laptop for me. 

We will be at 10 years married in July next year.  

I recall something like that happened just under 10 years ago. 

I am thinking of getting my Sweetie a dictionary.  

I think I am having one of those moments where I really need to keep my mouth shut so I don't prove my lack of intelligence.

Some people receive welcome home flowers or balloons when arriving from overseas at the airport. My lovely fellow brings me coffee knowing how long it will take for us to get home.

Watching people (including men) in the customs queue check their hair for the customs photo before processing. 

What is worse, once I noticed others doing it, I repeated their behaviour!