Why is that that there are always tight deadlines for the one on the ground in the thick of it, yet the action to be taken from the deadlines is always either delayed, avoided or not given to any specific time consequence and may be held over for months at a time. 

Yet if the initial deadline is not met, life ends as we know it, even if there is no action taken thereafter for years. 

When I write something down on a piece of paper, it has a fair chance of staying there. 

Put it in a computer and there seems to be no end of ways for it to be altered, virus affected, stolen or disappear all together.

Posters about mental illness at the airport.
I can certainly understand the importance of recognising the symptoms and the need for assistance which is very admirable. I am 100% for as much assistance as possible made available.
My only concern is that the posters advertising where to go for help  are seen just before you are about to get into a small metal tube to go hurtling through the air with a plane full of potentially other disturbed passengers.
Happy travelling!

I actually think my hair is a sentiment form of life very similar to that of a shaggy dog. It is:
Washed
Groomed
Moisturised (fed)
Brushed
Played with daily
Disciplined when very out of hand.
Daily thought and worried about
The only problem is that it still looks like something the cat refuses to bring home.
I really should name it. Fluffy perhaps?

Stunned to hear a news report describe the dole as a wage.
At what point is it seen as a right not to earn your way in life?

I saw a man putting face cream on in the car on the way to work.

I wonder if his family know he's a closet moisturiser.

I am now firmly of the opinion that meetings are held solely for the chairman to tell you what you already know and to do what you are already doing. 
There is 5 mins to disseminate any new information. The remainder I think is spent on bloviation.

Advice on what to give a teacher for Christmas:
- a packet of red pens
- a replacement 'X' for the keyboard.

Definition of a Manager: 

The person that CEOs whinge to from above and employees whine to from below!

Perhaps I am seeing things.

The dog has asked the cat for a belly rub. 

At the same time the cat has asked the for a head scratch.

Both appear to wish to oblige each other but do not know how.

I am really keen to see if they eventually solve this conundrum.

Some people are afflicted with the small but insidious creature known as the bed bug. I on the other hand find myself having to deal with the far more frustrating "bed hog".
So to all suffering from a similar condition may I not wish you a "sleep well", it is perhaps better to wish you a "Sleep cautiously."

Why is it that the hardest part of travelling overseas is the present buying for others. This is especially difficult when I am only overseas for work for one or two days and only ever see the inside if buildings or hotel room. Airports are expensive for the guilty jet-lagged traveller.

I give in. This time I am going home empty handed with a heart full of hopeful thought that my getting home may be the best gift of all. (Suppressing the urge to feel nauseated by that last sentence.)

At least the dogs will be happy with a dog treat. The cats will receive self satisfaction in knowing they are doing an excellent job of ignoring me. 

Work will be happy with reports submitted on time.

So, after seven hours of travelling, its off to the office I go. Gift buying goes to the back of the mind for later along with various thoughts such as the deep desire for home, family and sleep.

OK. I gave in. I thought this wide-eyed little ovine needed refugee status from New Zealand! And he didn't even need papers through customs. See how generous the Australian government is! 

I have been asked if my shirts are going out?

What I want to know is: 
   - Who would they be going out with?
   - Would I be wearing them?

Sheep on a stick.
Best checkpoint ever!
Think I should ask my husband to carry a stick with a small chihuahua on it or equivalent stuffed toy for me to locate him. Anything  would work just as long as its not a white flag.

Waikato District Hospital, New Zealand. A kilometre from one end to the other on the inside....and TALL.
The last Time I was in Hamilton, I drove passed it in the fog and didn't see it.
After seeing it today....how did I ever miss it?
Thank goodness navigation is critical to my job description.

The Elusive Gate

Gate 54 where art thou?
Well, certainly not between gates 53 and 55.
I'm not sure if it's meant to indicate the ultimate in the search for meaning in life or just meant for the entertainment of staff and confusion of passengers.
Neither I'm sure.
For whatever it means. I have found Gate 54.

Given the choice of intelligence or common sense please, please, please grant me common sense.
It is far less costly when I use it and saves me far more time.
...and saves me from the embarrassing mistakes where I want to stick my head in a bucket.

There are some days you just want to stick your head in a bucket! 

It's not the colour of the bucket that matters.... just the size of the embarrassment!

I know there is no re-wind and you only get one moment at a time, but I really do wish you that there was a big red flashing stop sign (or anything for that matter) would appear to alert you when you are about to say or something really embarrassing or will regret. 

There are now so many different coloured Daleks, you could play snooker. Exterminate this in the side pocket! 

Might  even get a chess set sorted -  Daleks v's the Doctors. 
Can't wait to see that one. Might be a bit rough to have the companions as pawns though. 

Gee Whiz! Another fake lottery win notification via sms.

Well unless the prize is greater than our national debt, I am not interested!

I see no reason to aim low in life.

It is better to purchase from and give money to a relative than to a complete stranger, especially if anything goes wrong and you know their mother.

Welcome to the land of Oz. Fewer sheep and more bureaurocrats!

I may not be laughing on the outside by inside I am going "Ha!"

I listened to "The Devil's Gallop" on the way to work today.
Sadly It didn't get me there any faster. 

The agreement with the cat this morning is: 
      "You can go out and play if you make me a cup of tea."

Somehow I don't think we are going to reach a mutually equitable solution to this problem.

It is one thing to realise you are a fool and to live with it.
It is quite another to find out how big a fool you really are or have been with no way out.

Questions for the Exhausted

How do you track a shadow?

For that matter, in a shadow boxing match? How do you knock out a shadow?

How dense does a fog have to be for you to see a fart being expelled?

Since a horse wears shoes, should it be given the option to wear Nikes?

I know that there are liver pills, but I’m not sure how you give a liver a pill.

Has anyone ever stood in front of an oncoming wombat and not been knocked down?

A school of thought should be a school to show you how to question and develop your own ideas, not to school your thoughts to pre-determined thinking thought best for the student.

Feedback – is that another word for vomit?

Waiting for the Red-Eye

Too early to catch a flight. Too late at night to concentrate on work.
                  How else do you quantify 20:00?


- time to make prank phone calls to the family?

- time to invent a new recipe: Sardines, ice-cream and mustard?

- time to write a will? – Now who gets my collection of Christmas cards collected since the age of 6 / my collection of single socks waiting for the Fairy of the Lost Sock to return their other half?

- curl up in a corner and start snoring for the benefit of all at the airport lounge?

Why is it that people who admit to having nothing to say almost never cease talking?

One really good thing about a book, you never have to worry about having enough power left in the device to read it. There is only the wearing out of pages from overuse.

I am amazed. 
The olympic athletes / teams being interviewed about their silver or bronze medal wins IN GENERAL are upset they did not win the gold. 
I say Brilliant, they are second or third in the world in their field and the best in their country. 
There is no one else in the world, in this time and this place that can say the same thing.  We can only marvel at their achievements and be glad to see an excellent display of sportsmanship. 


To all who achieve the opportunity to compete in the Olympics - Well done!- and congratulations in recognition for your dedication and sacrifice. 

My definition of climate change:
"Getting out of a nice warm bed to a freezing cold house and hoping nothing falls off from the cold."

I slept so hard last night, I slept the pillow slip of the pillow.
That must have been a busy dream. 
....now if only the housework were done in my dreams......

I just asked my mother what she considered her job was in life.... 
Answer: "To suffer"
To quote Eric Morecambe "There's just no answer to that". 

I am now firmly of the opinion that people who are "Drunk with Power" do not have enough to do!

Zero degrees this morning.
If ever I decide to contemplate the merits of cryogenic freezing... I need to remember how it feels when you think your fingers going to fall off from the cold.... 
I would not want that for any part of me. 

Oh no, I've just blogged again!!!
          WELL CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF!

Is this an empty bowl I see before me?... No, there are peas left!


Why is that for every meal the cats, dogs and assorted personages that live in this abode, there are always peas left over?


I'll leave the big questions in life for others...  


For me, to pea is to ponder.......

To sign in at work, I write my initials in the in column and when I sign out I write them again on the same line but in the out column.


When I leave to go home, I see written... HA HA. 


I wonder who the joke is on?